People often say that we do not appreciate the value of something when we have it. He was thinking if he had done the same mistake too. He was sitting all by himself, staring at nothing. He had so many emotions and thoughts cluttered inside him, still he could not focus on any particular emotion to feel. “What should I feel at this moment?”, he asked himself. But no one answered him. The “other voice” inside his head, which always joins him in thoughtful conversations, was silent for some reason. Maybe there were so many noises of the memories flying by, the other voice did not dare to speak.
There was a guilty feelings inside him though. He could feel it. There had to be. Why was he so much rough with her when she called the last time, when she wanted to see him for the last time. She was weak and dying. Still her voice lit up when she heard him. So many years have passed since they have talked. He cannot deny that he had waited for that phone call for too long, he waited to talk to her. Despite when he heard her, a hidden anger consumed him. He went back to that day, that last day, at the church. Her daughter, Emma, requested him to visit the hospital once. But he did not, not until it was too late. He was in that church again, almost after forty years of avoiding this place. He was here again mourning, all by himself.
He never liked wearing a helmet. He just loves the cold wind rushing past his face when he rides his motorbike. Roaming around aimlessly, enjoying the ride and thinking nothing, that has always been his favorite pastime.
So when his mother called him behind his back to take the helmet, he pretended that he did not hear. He was having a bad temper since yesterday due to some problems at school and finally ended up shouting at his mother. But he regretted that instantly and decided to go out to clear his head. He did not decide where he will go, he just needed to get away. He got up on his bike, started it by kicking and swearing couple of times and took off towards nowhere. But he could not go much further, his bike stopped at the middle of the road.
“Seriously!”, he shouted out loud with frustration. He was trying to find out what was wrong but then realized he did not refuel the tank for two days. He was so much angry that he finally felt exhausted by it. He parked the bike at a free space and locked it. He did not feel like going home. So, he started walking.
He loves walking too. Before buying this old third hand motorcycle, he used to walk to most of the places. He realized that he has started to feel better. “The motorcycle wasn’t the right choice for cooling down my head. Maybe it’s the sound of the engine and the excitement, which trigger more hormones, and doesn’t really help to subdue the anger”, he was talking to himself and walking. He has this tendency to explain or understand everything in scientific way.
He stopped again. He saw a girl stumbling upon the pavement right at the corner of the road. He felt like he was watching it in slow motion. He could not move until her knees fell upon the concrete and she let out a painful cry. He suddenly got back his sense and ran towards the girl as fast as he could. She was trying to get up but she has hurt her leg pretty bad. He held her hand and helped her to stand. She could not give pressure on both legs equally.
– “Hey, are you okay? Can you stand?”
Her hairs were not tied up and they covered her whole face. So he could not see if she was crying or not. She tried to fix the hair with one hand, holding him with the other. When he finally got the chance to look at her face, he noticed that she was trying not to express that she was in pain.
– “Yeah I’m fine. Thanks for helping me out. I think I can stand”, she was lying.
– “Okay. Don’t put too much pressure on the injured leg.”
– “It’s fine. It doesn’t seem so bad.”
But he knew she was just lying. She was avoiding his eyes.
– “That’s great then. Where were you headed?”
– “Towards my home. It’s just another five minute walk.”
– “Okay. So you can take care of your leg after going home? Or should we go to a pharmacy?”
– “No No! I’ll go home”, she said hastily.
– “Would you mind if I accompany you? Just to be sure you are home safely.”
– “No! Please don’t worry about me. I can make it to my home.”
– “I doubt that! The way you manage to stumble upon a plain road, I don’t think I’d trust you with yourself!”
– (blushing) “It’s really getting embarrassing!”
– “Please, it’s no big deal. I was walking around anyway. This way I would be doing something good.”
– “Okay! What’s your name by the way?”
– “Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Robert. And you?”
– “I’m Jenny.”
She smiled beautifully while saying her name and suddenly Robert felt like he could do anything to keep that face smiling always. He also noticed for the first time, how beautiful she was.